Friday, June 29, 2007
The Birth of A Family..
Thank you for all the many blessings and comments, both private and public, we have received ! I am finishing up a few details and waiting on some photos from my friend Jackie, then will be posting a detailed birth story.
We three are doing very well and enjoying our new lives together. I have to say I am shocked and surprised at how in love I am with this little girl! The intensity of what I am feeling is beyond anything I could have imagined. I thought for sure I would take a long time to bond and that I would be horribly depressed and unable to cope with the demands of motherhood. I was convinced I would have no idea what to do with a baby and that breastfeeding would be a nightmare. I imagined myself sleep deprived and suffering from severe post partum depression. I made sure moss was well versed in the signs of post partum psychosis and knew where to get help for me if need be.I think it is precisely because I read every post partum horror story and imagined every conceivable difficulty that I am having an easy time of it. I prepared myself for how difficult it can be,as well as what to reasonably expect..so there were no surprises.
Yes, I know this flies in the face of now conventional wisdom, a la "The Secret" but I do think it played a part in my easy adjustment. That and the fact that I am the luckiest woman in the world, as I have a husband who is incredibly supportive. He is as good or better than any postpartum doula. The other thing I think may have helped is the two fish oil capsules I take every day (it definitely helped with stretch marks !)
The truth is, my post partum time has been a joy and a delight, and motherhood has been, so far anyway, purely natural and instinctual ! Sage is a great nurser and breastfeeding couldn't be easier. She has also been sleeping well through the night (as much as can be expected of a newborn anyway) . We have been co sleeping, meaning she sleeps in the bed with Moss and I. This is, I believe, where babies are meant to sleep. It is where they feel the most secure and comforted, snuggled in next to mama and papa ! When she wakes in the night hungry, I simply roll over, offer her a breast and go on sleeping. I barely need to wake up. It is no wonder most folks with newborns get little sleep, as it is customary in this country to put baby in a separate room in a crib. When baby cries mom needs to get up and go into the other room, calm baby down and nurse her to sleep, or worse, go in the kitchen and fix a bottle. Finally when the baby is sleeping, she is placed back in the crib again only to start screaming the minute she is put down..starting the cycle all over again.
If only more people in this country would embrace co sleeping, as do cultures all over the world and, as our species has done since the beginning of time, parents - and babies - would sleep much better !
In an effort to be reduce landfill waste, save money and for Sages health (avoiding synthetic plastics) we have chosen to cloth diaper. We are using a mix of pre folds and fancy fitted diapers. So far that has been easy as well, though I have been warned that when she starts solids we may really consider going with disposables. Moss has been a wonderful dad and partner and is doing most of the diaper changes, helping fold laundry and just being the amazing nurturing person he is. We have an agreement, I take care of what goes in and he takes care of what comes out. I do my share of diaper changes, but he has been doing most of them and really enjoys spending that time with Sage, being silly and having fun. He is also a master at calming her down using infant massage/touch ( Moss is a natural healer, very good with reiki type energy work) when booby, wet diapers or gas is not the problem.
I do have my weepy moment's from time to time now, but not for the reasons I thought I would. I figured I would be in tears and berating myself for having thrown my life away. Instead I am in tears thinking how quickly she will grow up and leave..
Anyway, our plans are to remain here at Moss's folks house for a few more weeks. We need to install belts in the bus for Sages car seat, fix some problems with the electrical system and do some other last minute baby proofing things. Once that is done we can move back into the bus and begin our new life as a family. Hopefully, we will get things done in time to make it to the Faerie worlds festival in Eugene, on July 21. If not, the plan is to head to Santa Barbara for the summer, where we will sell some art and save up a bit of money for the fall and winter.
In the meantime we are are at the folks house, counting our blessings and enjoying every second of Sages babyness, as I know it will pass all too soon....