May the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you and the pure light within you, guide your way on "~Incredible String Band

Monday, May 18, 2009

Settling In....

It's been five months now since we have settled, here in this beautiful meadow, and now that the initial thrill has worn off the reality has set in, the reality of rent, bills and the inevitable inertia I feel whenever I am in one place for a long time. I sometimes wonder, if only for a fleeting moment, if we made the right decision. Then I look at Sage romping joyfully through the house, exploring the meadows and woods out our front door and I know that we have made the right decision, at least for now.


Although I very much miss life on the road, I feel no bitterness about the situation at all, nor do I feel as though I am being made to live a life other than I would chose. I am learning how to breathe through my impulse to always just go when things get tough, and things have been tough lately. Although our rent is very little compared to most, it has been difficult as we are used to paying nothing for rent. The whole idea of paying huge amounts of money to someone every month to live, is a new experience for me, and it is taking some getting used to.


To make ends meet we are still selling things on our etsy site and working hard on the felt boot aspect of our craft. We have finally, with the help of our friend Babu, a leather shoemaker, come up with an all weather, rugged sole for our boots. They can now be worn in just about all climates. In town here there is a weekly craft venue, Saturday Market, and we will be vending there. So far however we have not been able to get in as one must acquire a certain number of points to get a place and everyone else seems to have more than us right now. We expect to have enough within the next few weeks and in the meantime we are working on building up our stock. It is slow going as each boot takes about 9 hours or more to complete, but we keep at it. A few weeks ago we took the last little bit of money we had and purchased a drum carder. This is a hand cranked device that combs fleece into batts, batts that can be used for felting or spinning. It is an expensive item by anyone's standards, but we hope it will pay for it's self by saving us money on the purchase of already prepared wool batts. In addition to that it allows us to experiment more with color blending.


Our days have been so busy here, busier than I am used to, and perhaps than they ever have been. Trying to jump-start a business ( in this economy no less), raise a small child and renovate a house while at the same time making sure we have money for food has proven very challenging. Yea I know, you are all saying, welcoming to the real world, right ?


Truth be told there are times when we literally have nothing, but then something will always come through weather it be an online order or sometimes a trip to the local food box. I feel strongly that once we get established at the market we will do exceptionally well. We have given ourselves one year and by that time if we are not making regular money we will go back to the bus where rent is free and living is cheap.


Whatever happens, we have both agreed that there is no way either of us could ever be content with an office or other job. Not that there is anything at all wrong with those jobs, they are just not for us. It is either make this work, or back to the bus.


Our little community here on the farm, now consisting of five adults, four kids, three horses, three sheep, two dogs, and two cats, is growing in new ways. We now have a name, The Land of AHS... ( A. Healing. Space). There is also a small garden and a wooden yurt that is being used for retreats and workshops. It is turning out to be a wonderful place to live and I feel so blessed.


In other exciting news, I have recently realized my long time dream of becoming a shepherdess ! We have adopted a small Shetland sheep family, a mama and two lambs ! They are the sweetest little family and I plan to use their wool for hand spinning and felting. Sage adores them as well and helps me feed them every morning and evening. She already understands that the sheep have wool that mommy and daddy use to make things out of.


Speaking of Sage, she is thriving...speaking in complete sentences now and continues to amaze and surprise us every day, constantly pushing me to expand and flow with her in new directions. In a few weeks she will be two, it is hard to believe. I know parents always say that but it really is amazing to witness her growing, it all seems to go so fast. For her birthday we hope to have the room we are fixing up for her completed with a bed, play area and such.


This whole settling process brings up a lot of fear for me. Mostly fear of being stuck. More and more though I am realizing that I can only really be stuck in my head. I am learning how to let go of things and just flow from a place of stillness as opposed to one of constant motion. It seems when we were on the road in the bus, we were always home and if a situation or place was not working for us, we would just move on, flowing and floating freely about the country. It was rather like changing the channel on a TV. Turn the dial and, da ta ! , a whole new scene and cast of characters !


What I am learning is that, in a settled life, when things get bad, that same flowing, the letting go or surrendering to what IS still needs to take place, but instead, from a place of stillness inside my heart and mind, as opposed to moving about in the world physically. I must realize my true home is not where I am at in the world, but where I am at in my heart and mind.


That is the challenge.... and if I can master that, then I can be free wherever I may be....





A trip to the oregon coast beach..





A trip to the oregon coast beach..



A view from our porch...

Sage helps feed the baby lambs..


Jameila, the mama....



My new Strauch "finest" drum carder...