May the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you and the pure light within you, guide your way on "~Incredible String Band

Friday, February 16, 2007

The Times They are A Changeing........

Thank you everyone for your continued messages of support and congratulations. All the positive energy and love is appreciated and well received.

Moss and I had a wonderful Valentines day and celebrated by doing one of our very favorite things... hiking and spending time in wild places. We found a nice state park in the area and went for a four mile hike to a secluded, cascading waterfall, a rare scene in this otherwise arid bio region. The hike included an additional bit of rock climbing to get to the top of the falls, where the most magical little rock waterfall pool awaited. It was smooth and rounded, sculpted by the flowing water for tens of thousands of years. The nature spirits were abundant and I am certain this area was sacred to the native Chumash Indians who lived (some still do) in this area. It feels good to keep active during my pregnancy, though the climbing and walk were a bit more tiresome than usual for me.

I am now 25 weeks pregnant and there is a LOT going on....

Last I updated we were deciding where to have our baby. Like most things in life, we find if one just puts forth good intention, then releases and trusts, everything ultimately falls into place.

As much as we love Oregon we have decided that southern California will be the place our child is to be born. There are many practical reasons for this as well, not the least of which are financial. Here in California, during this time of the year we can make and save a good deal of money. For one thing, people in this area, Santa Barbabra in particular, love my fiber art and I am able to sell it easily. Secondly, this spring is supposed to be a particularly good year for liberal and progressive initiatives in this area. If we stay here we can make and save thousands, in addition to my art sales. Also Moss has made many friends in the area and is curently collaborating on music with some, so he would be able to finish his new important goal of his.

In Oregon, we have a place to stay, friends and full coverage for a midwife, but no way to make money, not like we can here.

So..we spent the past month interviewing many midwives all over the southern California region. Most are not covered by medi-cal and the average price in this area for a midwife is 3,500 dollars. On top of that, the ones we have spoken with definitely do not have the vibe we are looking for.

That is until we spoke with the women at South Coast Midwifery. They do accept medi-cal for part of the care, but 2,500 is not covered and would need to be paid out of pocket by my due date (June 5th). South Coast Midwifery is an all women run, midwifery birthing center. They have beautiful rooms with jacuzzi tubs for birthing in, or they will come to you in your home. The midwife we spoke with, Amber, was genuinely excited about the idea of attending a birth in a bus, unlike some of the other midwives we interviewed, who seemed to raise an eyebrow. Moss and I felt a connection immediately. Everything was so positive about our experience with them, and we left feeling very uplifted. With the other places there was often a feeling that we were just another birth. It was very business like and "bottom Line".

The next big decision is weather to have the baby at the birthing center or in the bus. What we would like to do is find a campground we can stay at for a month, or some private land. Then we could set up our 16 foot tipi near the bus. Within that we would put a small wood burning hot tub that could be used for a water birth. This is essentially a wood fired stove that is immersed in the tub, it can be either a wood or metal tub. In our case it will probably be a small circular stock tank. We used to use this for bathing when we lived in the tipi in Oregon, and it works great.

Like everything else I am certain this will all fall into place according to what is for our highest good. If we are unable to find private land or an appropriate campground, then we will go to the birthing center. Both are great options and either one we would be happy with.

As for me personally and physically, all is well. The nausea of my first trimester is long gone and I am now feeling fine, full of energy and life. I can clearly feel the baby move and have been for the past three weeks. It is quite an active one ! I may have my hands full with this little Gemini baby. Moss can feel the baby move as well, and even watch as my stomach shifts and changes shape. I try to walk at least a mile every day as well as do yoga and meditate regularly.

I have some not so good moments as well, usually in the middle of the night. I wake up with a feeling of dread and ask myself "what did we get ourselves into ?" I wonder if I will be a good mom. I think of all my many flaws and how they will affect our child. I worry about the birth and weather or not I will be able to handle the "sensations" of natural birth. I worry that I will suffer from post partum depression or have difficulty breastfeeding. All normal things that many expectant mothers worry about.

Soon these feeling pass as I drift off to sleep, dreaming of our child and all the many things I hope to teach her/him about life and the universe, the magic that is within us and all around us. I awaken in the morning, no worse for ware ( though occasionally a bit cranky and tired), once again feeling full of life and it's many possibilities......