LIFE Is Like a Little Boat Upon The Sea....

Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that the whole thing with Greg fell through, he was not able to get the bus he thought he would. We now are faced with having to buy a new engine for the bus. In addition to that we will have to replace the whole fuel system and flush the tanks to ensure all the sugar has been removed from the system. If we were to put in a comparable engine to what we had we would be looking at a little over 10,000 dollars...obviously way more than we could ever come up with in two months.


So..we are forced to purchase a good used engine, which I believe we have found for 2,700 plus 700 for shipping. It has 91,000 miles on it, which, according to our mechanic is just "breaking it in" for this particular engine. The engine does come complete with oil pan, fuel system and starter. They also do not want the core of our engine in return, which apparently, many places often do. This means that we will have our engine to salvage additional parts from. All this should cost around 6000 , which will come from money we were saving to pay our midwife, moving to N.C and a loan from a family member.

I am a firm believer that all things happen for a reason, there is always a lesson to be learned and some kind of wisdom to be gleaned, especially so with disasters like this. Aside from buying a locking gas cap, I have been wondering what lesson is here for us. For one thing it has made me realize that we need to have some kind of safety net in the future, because next time there will be no loan from anyone. Either a large savings account or a some type of credit card that we use only for emergency situations . Obviously, the large savings account is the more preferable, but the credit card is the more likely scenario at this time. This will take time though as neither Moss nor I have ever had a credit card.We do not have bad credit, we just have no credit..almost as bad.


I have been on the road both by myself and with Moss for 16 years now, and have become quite used to braking down and being towed , penniless, to some remote place in the middle of nowhere. It has never been a problem and I have always found that a positive attitude, lots of creative thinking and good bit of waiting have solved most issues. In many ways, this is what I really love about vagabond travel ! There is a level of complete trust and acceptance that must take place. One must be ever ready to flow with whatever happens and live always in the moment. It is a very zen thing. Often we find that there was a good reason something happened, either we needed to be somewhere to affect another persons life in some way, or we benefited in some way we otherwise would not have.


In the past this philosophy has always been enough, though I must confess, I now worry how it will all work with a child. In some ways I feel we may simply be called on to use these skills and techniques in the same way just more so. However, I do think that there must also be a middle ground, a safety net. Yes, we can continue to follow our bliss, travel and live in whatever other way we choose, but with a child there now needs to be an extra level of assurance.


On a lighter note...I went in for an ultrasound a few weeks a go and the tech asked me if I wanted to know the sex. I had not intended to find out, but in a moment of weakness I caved and now we know the sex of our baby. Honestly I have never been the sort of person who could handle surprises. I am ashamed to admit I was the child pinching little holes in the wrapping paper at Christmas time .


So then, we are having a little......girl !!


Her first name will be Sage. We are still out on a middle name, but are strongly considering Anias. Sage Anias Ratafia. It's very odd but it feels like I know her already and cannot imagine life without her. It's not as though I know her personality and can see what she looks like, but there is just a very familiar presence and energy I sense around me at all times now. In the early months we felt like she was not around as much. It was as though her spirit was spending more time detached from her body. Somewhere in the middle of the second tri mester we started to get the feeling that she was spending much more in her body and that's when it seems I could sense her energy and presence more.


I went to another appointment with Amber, our midwife, and she was as lovely and supportive as before. She has a great spiritual strength and her thoughts on our current predicament were very encouraging. I am not going to lie, this whole thing with the bus has been incredibly stressful on me and I worry how Sage must be feeling. I wish so much that I could be spending all my prenatal time in one place, in the forest or on the beach, instead of in the outskirts of LA dealing with all this. She echoed our thoughts that everything happens for a reason and that we need to just trust. She also said that Sage is head down and growing well.


Only two months and counting until we meet her in person......